How To Prevent The Good Friendships From Slipping Away
Too Busy Being Busy? Why You Should Make The Time Anyways.
Friends are the wheelhouse of our social lives, our chosen family that get us through our hard times and boosts us when we need it the most. Don’t get me wrong, solitude can be a wonderful thing, but as humans, we are social by nature so of course we benefit immensely from having quality friends by our side.
As we get older, everyone is being pulled in different directions and lives begin to take flight. It can be hard to maintain our friendships. Responsibilities sink in, people get married, children are born, someone finally works up enough nerve to move to a different state, and the crew slowly becomes a collection of fond memories.
Now maybe some of these friends needed to go, but as for the ones that were really there for you, that showed you what a good friend looks like, those are worth the extra effort. The root friends that keep your side greener and deserve appreciation. If you have drifted away from a good friend, or starting to think you’re too busy now to make time for friends.. consider the benefits, tips, and advice below to not let the friendship slip away.
Benefits of Friendship
A Chosen Support-System
Your friends offer a different kind of support than family can. Most likely you can tell each other things you don’t want to talk to family or a significant other about. Being around the same age, you’re emotionally and socially in tune with each other. With that brings emotional, mental, and even physical support. Hopefully, you love your family, but not all families are created equal. Friends are the family you get to choose.
Optimal Self-Esteem
Friends help boost your self-confidence in so many ways. Good friends make you feel good about yourself, offer you solid advice, and remind you of your self-worth during your dark times. HelpGuide * explains that friends have greater effects on our self-esteem than our romantic relationships. If you are romantically involved with someone and fortunate to consider them a friend, that’s great! But putting all the pressure of romance and friendship on one person may not be the healthiest thing to do. Mayo Clinic * and Purdue University * also explain how friendships boost your sense of purpose.
Reduced Stress
Loneliness has strong effects on our mental health and we tend to be less lonely when we have friends 🙃 Feeling lonely can increase the risk of depression, substance abuse, and can even affect your sleep, which all affects your stress levels. Your ride-or-dies can keep you on track toward your goals, prevent addictive tendencies, and it always feels better knowing you’re not alone and have someone to talk to. Life can be tough sometimes and we all need good friends to help keep us afloat.
Maintaining Friendships As An Adult
Understanding and Forgiveness
We’re growing up and our lives may take us in different directions, and that’s okay! We went from living within 10 minutes of each other to now moving halfway across the country/getting married and you got your own show going on. The nights out at the clubs and bars every weekend slowly fade into a text from time to time. Understanding that this is a part of life and not holding resentment towards a friend for not being as readily available, goes a long way in securing the life of the friendship. Support each other through life-changing events and have an everlasting friendship.
Acting on the “Let’s-Get-Together’s”
So you’ve forgiven each other for drifting into your own lives but staying in touch is still very important. Commitment will look different for each situation so it doesn’t have to be a serious thing. I believe the most important factor in determining the strength of a friendship is effort. True friends make an equal effort in staying in touch so keep this in mind if you’re missing a good friend.
Maybe you guys still live close and can get together on a regular basis like once a week or month etc. Or you’re thousands of miles apart and getting together is much harder but now you have a reason to plan a vacation. The point is that if this friend is worth it to you, show them that a busy life will not be enough to snuff this companionship.
Shared Interests or Classes
Whether you guys have been friends since grade school, college, or work buddies, you probably became good friends for a reason. You have enough similarities or common interests that it’s easy to relate to and understand each other.
As we get older, it’s perfectly normal for interests to evolve and we may evolve in different ways. If that’s happening between you and a friend, reevaluate your situation and find something that suits both of you.
Some examples of how to stay connected include:
Take the Same/Similar Classes — Whether you get together once a week/month or you each find your own dojos and compare notes to help keep each other motivated.
Book “Club” — Did you know reading regularly can reduce stress by up to 68%? Why not motivate each other in beneficial ways this is something you can do no matter where you live.
Build a Business or Following Together — This might be a wild, out-there kind of idea but hey, some of us like that. Now going into business with someone is a serious commitment so think long and hard before you sign any contracts and make sure it makes sense and you’re on the same page with one another.
What do my friends and I do?
Long-Distance Friendships
Remember Birthdays and Holidays
Get together, send a card, text, or FaceTime each other, something to say that the love and line of communication are still there. It’s meaningful when a friend remembers your birthday and not because FaceBook told them so. Sending a quick text on Holidays goes a long way as well. When life gets busy and your family becomes your day-in-day-out routine, those simple acts of showing you still care is enough reminder that there’s still a friendship here and it’s worth hanging on to.
Vacations and Visitations
So now you live on opposite sides of the country. Plan vacations with each other. Save money and visit each other’s homes and city or pick a place on the globe and meet there. Vacationing sounds expensive which is why more people don’t plan them more often, but you can ball on a budget.
According to NerdWallet best time to book flights is 1 to 3 months in advance for the best prices. Personally, I don’t think you can put a price tag on your mental health, and sometimes getaways are exactly what the doctor ordered. Considering the reason for this holiday is to spend time with a friend, don’t lose sight of what’s most important about this trip.
Write Letters
How nostalgic at this point but they’re more personable than a text and something different to stay connected. M. Cecil Smith, Ph.D. explains how writing as an activity improves overall cognitive function. Improved memory, creativity, and increased happiness are all benefits of pen to paper, all while staying in touch with a close friend.
So To The Good Friends Out There,
Friends are too important and beneficial to let them slip through the cracks of our busy adult lives. Just like our romantic relationships need attention and nurturing, our friendships deserve the effort as well. The improvements in our internal well-being and the emotional support we receive from a good friend are one of life’s treats. Use this guide to help identify the good friends in your life, and to be the best friend you can be to the ones that need you.